Chapter 1

Unfortuantly, I'm married to a man named Fawaz. I never thought I'll end up marrying this guy. He's a rude man, he treats me like a piece of junk. But, sometimes he makes me feel like a princess. I seriously love him, I know he loves me. It's okay for us to get into fights every other day. So, I'm Al-Jazi. People call me Jazi for short. I have long hair, small pointy noise, and tiny full lips. I'm a tiny creature. My weight is normal, im not very thin nor fat. So, I'm just sitting in my room watching MBC 4. Watching Fatma, it's a Turkish series which I love. I hope Fawaz doesnt come while I'm watching this. He doesnt allow me to watch this show, he says its 'inappropriate'. I was wearing shorts and a tank top. I dont like wearing shorts, bs I do it for Fawaz. We live in Lebanon, I don't get why Fawaz wants to live here. Well, things happen. I really miss Kuwait, though. My eyes glued to the screen, I was watching the series.
"Jazi! Cham mara agoolich la tshoufeena?" It was Fawaz. Nightmares here we come. I lowered my head.
Jazi: "Asfa."
Fawaz: "Ana mabi kila a3eed il 7achi."
Jazi: "Enshallah."
He was standing infront of the tv, blocking it. He turned the tv off and came next to me. I was shivering on the inside, I was scared.
Fawaz: "Jazi, tadreen iny a7ibich, 9a7?"
I was about to burst into tears. I couldnt handle it anymore. No, I don't know that you love me. Sometimes, you treat me like a piece of shit. Sometimes, you treat me like a princess. Your bipolar. I didnt want to come over here, Lebanon. Just because of your stupid job. I dont get how you can shout at me and I cant. How I have to do everything you tell me and you dont. How you can get out where ever you go and I cant. I'm living in hell with you. I cant help but feel unwanted when you tell your friends to come over and they judge my every move. I love you, Fawaz. But I'm not sure you love me back. I cant help but feel insecure. You always forget my birthday. You always shout at me. You always give me some orders to do. You wake me up at the middle of the night just to make you some freaking food. I dont regret marrying you, I just regret that I never stood up to you. That I never told you 'no.' Life isnt fair.